Tag Archives: hummus

My Jalapeno Hummus Recipe

26 Jan

In a break from normal programming, I thought I’d share a recipe with you. Don’t worry… This isn’t about to turn into a cookery blog. For one thing, I can only cook about 3 different dishes, and for another thing, this recipe doesn’t actually involve any cooking.

Neither does this recipe.

Neither does this recipe.

My partner and I were given one of those hand blender things for Christmas by my in-laws, and one of the first things I wanted to try my hand at was hummus (or houmous, or however the fuck you spell it.) I found one recipe online which said that the tahini (a weird, icky paste made from sesame seeds) was optional, and that all you really need is a tin of chickpeas, 2 cloves of garlic, some olive oil, salt, pepper and lemon juice and that’s it.

Bull. Shit.

Bullshit Cat

Try making hummus without tahini and you’ll end up with intensely garlic-flavoured cement, no matter how much lemon juice and salt you add in a desperate attempt to make it edible.

Pictured: Caterers in Bahrain attempt to make a bumper batch of hummus without tahini.

Pictured: Caterers in Bahrain attempt to make a bumper batch of hummus without tahini.

After much experimenting I’ve finally nailed hummus, and what’s more I’ve added jalapenos to give it a bit of a kick. So here’s my recipe for Ultimate Jalapeno Hummus. Seriously… You can make this in about 5 minutes. The only appliance you’ll need is a food processor of some sort. I used one like this:

Using the little fella on the far right.

Using the little fella on the far right.

Ingredients:

  • 1 x tin of chickpeas
  • 1/2 a big clove of garlic, or 1 small clove
  • lemon juice (bottled is fine)
  • 2 teaspoons of tahini
  • 1 x glug of extra virgin olive oil
  • 1 x splash of water
  • 4 or 5 slices of jalapeno pepper
  • salt and pepper to season

Instructions:

  1. Crush or chop the garlic glove up into little pieces and add to the blender.
  2. Drain and rinse the chickpeas, put aside 7 or 8 for later, and add the rest to the blender.
  3. Add the lemon juice.
  4. Add the tahini.
  5. Add the olive oil (just a little glug)
  6. Add the water (don’t overdo it, just a splash – you can add more later if needed.)
  7. Add the jalapeno slices.
  8. Add the salt and pepper.
  9. Blitz the living fuck out of it until it’s the consistency of hummus.
  10. Serve with the unblitzed chickpeas and, if you like, a sprinkling of paprika (smoked paprika is particularly nice.)

And that’s literally it. Jalapeno Hummus. Great with celery or a great big fucking bag of crisps.

Not pictured: A great big fucking bag of crisps.

Not pictured: A great big fucking bag of crisps.

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